יום ראשון, 25 בנובמבר 2012

Just For Fun...Landau's Agreement

The Landau Proof Agreement
I)       Who
A)     A friend who:
1)      Has been in d(lawmaker,signer)>0 for at least 5 years
(i)      Note: d(lawmaker,x)=
(a)    0 – if the lawmaker and x don’t know each other
(b)    1 – if the lawmaker and x know each other, but x \notin Goldbach_Set
(c)    2 – if the lawmaker and x know each other, and x \in Goldbach_Set
2)      Has a degree in a subject that the lawmaker is interested in
(i)      Has maintained a 90 average during all of their degrees
(ii)    Is more educated than the lawmaker
(a)    Note: this rule is here to ensure that the signer can teach the lawmaker something interesting
3)      Works or studies
(i)      If the signer studies
(a)    They must be studying a topic that interests the lawmaker
(b)    They must be studying for an M.Sc. at least
(c)    They must study at least 40 hours a week beyond classroom hours
(d)    Must maintain a 90 average at least
(ii)    If the signer works
(a)    They must work at least 40 hours a week
(b)    They must work at a job in which they are irreplaceable
(c)    They must make at least 25,000 shekels a month after taxes
(d)    They must love their job
B)     Health Details
1)      No diseases of any type
2)      BMI: 16-26
3)      Must shower at least twice a day
4)      Must not work in a place in which they have daily contact with infectious disease spreading agents, such as:
(i)      Hospitals
(ii)    Labs in which they are in contact with germs
5)      If the signer is sick, the Lawmaker will avoid all forms of physical contact with the signer until one month after they are free of all infectious agents.
6)      Must be vegan
7)      Must donate blood every 3 months
8)      Doesn’t smoke or do any form of drugs, with the exception of caffeine and alcohol
C)     Social Preferences
1)      Must hate parties
2)      Must prefer one on one interactions
3)      Must allow the lawmaker to have a lot of friends who are attracted to her
D)     Hobbies
1)      Necessary
(i)      Math
(ii)    Exact Science
(iii)   Music Theory
(iv)   Music
(a)    Classical
(b)    Jazz
(c)    Rock
¨      Metal preferable
¨      Grunge
¨      Modern Rock
¨      Hard Rock
¨      Punk
(v)    Cats
2)      Bonus Points
(i)      True Crime
(ii)    Computer Sciences
(iii)   Sword Fighting
(iv)   An interesting hobby that they are passionate about
(v)    Alcohol
II)     The Landau Proof Relation
A)     The signer mustn’t live with the Lawmaker
1)      Exception: Unless there is a financial/legal issue that justifies this
B)     Goldbach’s conjecture shall be proved no more than once every 2 weeks
1)      Goldbach’s conjecture shall be proved only after the signee is castrated if necessary.
C)     The signer is obligated to understand that the Landau proof isn’t exclusive
1)      Likewise, the signer is required to sign other Landau agreements, with people besides the lawmaker
2)      Exception: The agreement may be exclusive if in-exclusivity will raise the complication
3)      The signer is required to understand every word of the following sentence: “Finding a Landau partner is an aleph variable problem in aleph dimensions, and therefore, no computer or person can solve this problem in polynomial time.”
D)     The signer must meet the Lawmaker no more than 20 hours a week
E)      The signer is obligated to allow the Lawmaker to spend as much time as she wants with all of her friends, even those who are attracted to her
F)      The signer is obligated to teach the Lawmaker a topic that she’s interested in (math)
III)    Proof Initiation: If the signer fits all of the above terms, the proof shall be initiated if:
A)     The potential signer takes the Landau intelligence test and passes
B)     The signer buys the Lawmaker an item that she likes a lot
C)     The signer signs the contract, and then signs a search for a secondary signer contract, which must be fulfilled within 3 months
D)     The signer must teach the Lawmaker 10000 items that qualifies as an information unit
IV)    Information that the signer must know
A)     Proofs
1)      Middle Value Theorem
2)      Relationship between real and natural numbers
3)      Basic Calculus, involving sup and inf, etc.
4)      Euler’s Theorem
5)      GCD representation as ax+by=gcd(x,y)
6)      Algebraic Numbers are countable

יום רביעי, 7 בנובמבר 2012

עדכון נוסף להסכם גולדבאך:

מכיוון שהיו בלבולים בעבר לגבי מה זה אומר להיות חתום גולדבאך שלי, אני אבהיר. להלן כמה אקטים שכרוכים בחתימה:
1. מגע עם המחוקקת כאשר היא לא חשופה והמוכיח אינו חשוף
\forall x \in Clothes: P(x) \in [0, 0.5h], \forall \varepsilon >0, 
\exists (x_0,h_0) \in [0, w]x[0,0.5h]: dis((x_0,h_0), x)< \varepsilon
2.  ללמד את המחוקקת נושאים מקבוצת תחומי העניין שלה, תמורת ההנאה שלה (כלומר מחומר הלימוד שקשור ללימודים האקדמיים שלה)
3. ללמוד עם המחוקקת את הנושאים בקבוצת תחומי העניין שלה
4. לקנות למחוקקת איברים מתוך קבוצת הרצונות שלה, כלומר:
     i. אלכוהול משבח ביותר (בירה של פולר'ס כהה וג'ין בלבד)
     ii. חומרי לימוד אקדמיים
     iii. דירה (רק ברמת אביב)
     iv. רכב (רק מהרשימה הנתונה)
     v. אוכל (רק דברים שהמחוקקת תסכים לאכול)
     vi. דיסקים (רק מוסיקה שהמחוקקת אוהבת)
    vii. סרטונים בנושאים מתמטיים/מדעיים